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  1. You wrote this ages ago, when my relationship was just beginning. This week, after four years, the man I planned my future with and thought was the love of my life, absolutely adored and thought he felt the same, ended our relationship. I’m raw with pain and disbelief and this article is the most helpful that I’ve found.

    I know it’s really over, but, like you I’m a hopeless romantic and I’m still hoping he won’t be able to stand being apart, but now that I typed that I realize I’d always be wondering if/when he’d leave me again.

    1. Hi Heather, My best advice is to focus entirely on you, what you want, and what you need. Through this, you may realize how your partner wasn’t meeting your needs. It is entirely okay to not feel okay right now. Looking back years later I believe the break up with my ex was the best thing to ever happen to me. I’ve had so many wonderful experiences since then and even met a man that is innately good, honest, funny, and genuine. Sometimes what we think we want vs. what we actually need are two very different things. Embrace this time to ignore him entirely and enjoy discovering yourself again. You might be surprised by what unfolds. It won’t always be easy but it will be worth it.

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